When Suse first told us in 1993 that she had applied to do the BT Global Challenge and been accepted I said, " Go for it ! ", my husband was less enthusiastic. Well it was three years away and I'd worry about it nearer the time. Needless to say it has sped by and in June 1996 while she was still working in the City and training on the boat at every possible opportunity, I realised this was for real. Increasing press calls, radio and television interviews, bundles of incredible clothing for me to mark and things to prepare for the boat, kept us all very busy . I didn't know how to prepare myself for this voyage or how I'd feel when she'd gone. I installed a fax machine, bought lots of candles and prayed that I was going to be able to cope .

The 27th September '96 took us to the Isle of Wight to stay until departure day. We spent the two days in Ocean City with Suse making the best of a worrying time for us all. On the eve of departure we had a lovely last dinner with close family and friends - we were all very brave ! We said goodbye that night and I returned to the Isle of Wight, Suse slept onboard " Courtaulds International " - she wanted it that way - no tearful farewells in the morning .

September 29th dawned depressingly wet and windy and we boarded the " Waverley " for the Start. Courtaulds plc gave us all a marvellous day, and we were buoyed and excited by the wonderful start the boat made. We returned home to watch the start on the TV, relaxed and confident and in many ways relieved that the waiting was over .

From 30th September things seemed to go from bad to worse. The faxed chattered out tales of horrendous seasickness and damage to sails etc. Suse was in charge of sails and I pictured her fingers as raw stumps ! It would be fair to say I became obsessed with the Race - I can't tell you how many rolls of fax paper I've used .
My husband went to Rio with our eldest daughter. I needed to know how Suse had coped with the first leg, but I couldn't face saying goodbye again before she left for the Horn and Southern Ocean. She was as always in fine form, although apprehensive about the future .

We both went to Wellington and Sydney where we met up with our son Charles and his family who live near Adelaide, it was a wonderful and memorable family gathering . My husband is currently in Cape Town to see them off on Sunday 4th May and I will be going to Boston to see her off on the final leg to Southampton. Oh what joy ! I'm beginning to relax a little now, as hopefully the very worst is over.

The last 8 months has been a period of constant anxiety and has dominated my life. Tears were never far beneath the surface. Next Sunday 4th May I will light the candle and start polling again.

I believe that Suse has enjoyed the experience and made friends for life. We are very proud of her and what she will have achieved. Some of her experiences have been awesome and I can't wait for mid-July to welcome the fleet home safely from the " greatest challenge of their lives ."

Mrs Derris Goulder
Mother of Suse Goulder, crewmember on Courtaulds International.